We all know that serving alcoholic drinks to children is illegal, but fortunately there are no laws against dragging your own inner child into a bar and then getting him hammered. Because that's what might happen on this one.

You probably remember from camp days or other traumatic youthful experiences that bizarre craft project known as Macaroni Art. You take a paper plate or a piece of cardboard and glue macaroni elbows, dried split peas, beans, and just about everything else found in minestrone soup into strange patterns that only a stoned counselor could understand. That's pretty much what we're gonna do, except that now we're all grown up and should know better.

So head over to your local supermarket and raid the 'bulk foodstuffs' bins for anything that catches your eye, or, what the hell, bring along interesting cereal or even pet food. And then wander over to the library and study the greater works on mosaics so you'll understand how crappy your results will look in comparison. We'll try to supply some coloring book images designed for toddlers if you need a pattern to work from, but free-style expressionism also works well in a bar setting.

In the interest of not trashing Li Po's, please don't bring material that will scatter and get all over their new carpeting (such as glitter dust or those tiny pasta grains that I can't remember the name of.) But do bring larger noodle components and also a bottle of Elmer's Glue (tm)[This event brought to you by Borden (R)], and if anyone wants to, also bring a Black and Decker (UL) Dust-Buster (X) just in case, so we can clean up easier after we' re through noodling around. (c)2001 Dive-Bar(sm) Industries (*). Parve (K) Etc. &#(%)@!!

N.B. - Just to show you that Macaroni Art actually transcends all age groups, take a look at this:

http://seniorliving.about.com/people/seniorliving/library/crafts/blcraft_macaroniart.htm

Remember - "make sure no one eats the macaroni after adding the alcohol!"

Tuesday, July 10
5:30 'till nap time
Li-Po Cocktail Lounge - go to the tables in the back
916 Grant Ave / Washington St. SF

Muni lines: 1, 12, 15, 30, 45

(Note - this is a repeat visit to Li Po's because they have good tables and almost no one showed up the last time we went there. It's a great Chinatown bar.)