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20021.04.09
Toronado - 547 Haight St.
Tax Filing Party
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Grab your green visors and sleeve garters, kids! It's TAX TIME! Hurray! April 15 looms closer each week, and that most cherished of American activities - tax filing - is about to consume everyone's brain power and moral fortitude. But fear not - a group of kindred souls are getting together to commiserate in this unsavory task, so join in and bring all your paperwork to the bar. It won't make filling out the forms any easier, but at least you'll have company while tip-toeing through the tax tables. "I bet that if you actually read the entire vastness of the U.S. Tax Code, you'd find at least one sex scene . . . "
If nothing else, you might be able to get answers from others who have already struggled through the dreaded AMT calculations, or find out if you can deduct all the printer cartridges you'll need to generate a complete Schedule D. There will be tax humor! Tax lore! Complaints about the tax code! And Death and Taxes beer to sooth the soul! "Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors, and miss." Lazarus Long "Time Enough for Love"
Then there will be a prize for whoever owes the most. And anyone claiming a refund has to buy a round for the person to their left. If you really want to get into the spirit of things, show up wearing a barrel with suspenders and wave a tin cup around at anyone passing by. "The trick is to stop thinking of it as 'your' money."
If you're lucky enough to qualify for the EZ-Form, then you can just hang out and show your support. But remember that you'll still have to deal with the state return, and get the mailing addresses correct, and for God's sake, don't forget to sign your return! Plus, anyone who received unemployment over the past year (namely, most of us) has to pay some of that back, so remember to review your EDD pay stubs.
"To produce an income tax return that has any depth to it, any feeling, one must have lived -- and suffered." Bring your paperwork, pencils, calculators, and a big ol' stack of tax forms. Even if you can't finish your return, you'll still get a jump on this mess before the real crunch hits. And you'll also have time to make a last-minute IRA contribution for 2001, so this beats waiting until the 15th when it's too late. For those who just can't seem to get it together, there will be filing extension forms on hand to delay the inevitable.
Tuesday, April 9 |