t was just one year ago that we first began what has now become an obscure local institute - the Dive Bar Happy Hour. We combined strange little activities with cheap drinks and wound up with some of the stupidest art projects this side of a late-night Blo-Pen infomercial. But that never bothered us. We blindly marched on to new seedy (and some not-so-seedy) bars, unholstered our hot-melt glue guns and showed the regulars that yes, you can in fact construct a Pimp-Daddy sock puppet in a dark hole where 'the good stuff' comes in plastic bottles and the lady's room sports a urinal.

Originally, to mark this anniversary, there was supposed to be an art show to display some of our previous works, but that got held up for lack of a proper gallery-cum-cocktail-lounge. So instead we'll gather to relax and discuss future ideas and venues, and see what direction this group should take. There are still numerous activities in the queue awaiting proper logistical planning, such as;

Dive-Bar T-shirt making
Tupperware party
Additional trivia games
High-Life vs. MGD Taste Test
Fun with Pretzels!
Office Supply Jamboree
Bar-top Golf (or hockey, or steeple chase, etc.)
Obscene Balloon Animals
Household Debris Sculptures
Gummi Worm Rodeo
Bar Napkin Business Plans
Vomit Spin-Art (ok, maybe not)

[Note that some of these were conceived in the very bars where we did our heaviest drinking, so they may be subject to further review.]

If you've never attended an event, show up to meet the regulars and give your input. If you already make these Tuesday gatherings an important anchor in your social schedule, you might consider some sort of treatment. Either way, let us know what kinds of things you'd like to do at future outings.

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A quick anecdote might best summarize the difference between us and most normal after-work bar dwellers...

Last December we showed up at the Hyde Out with five garbage bags full of plastic toys. The group was happily dismembering them and gluing the parts back together in improbable combinations, such as the duck-billed chain-saw-swinging Bart Simpson doll riding a mutated seven-legged dalmatian. Another patron wearing a business suit wandered over to our little Frankenstein factory, trying to figure out what was going on. We told him about the Twisted Toys construction party where we'd be giving the results away as presents on a subsequent Santa Rampage. He pondered that for a moment, still a little confused but impressed that all these people showed up to participate.

"Yeah," he said, "Our company does a similar outreach program every Christmas." When pressed for details he explained proudly, "I rent one of those motorized trolleys for my department and we ride it around Fisherman's Wharf."

The dive-bar crew takes a different approach. We're on the short school bus* weaving wildly through the Tenderloin, with a travel bar blocking the emergency exit. The next stop will be Ha Ra's.

Tuesday, May 7
5:30 - 7:30 (give or take)
Ha Ra Club**
875 Geary (at Larkin) in SF


Municipal Railway Bus transit lines: 2, 3, 4, 19, 27, 38, 47, 49

* With partial thanks to Goddam Jamie (maybe some day this will become a reality)

** Ha Ra's was supposed to be the inaugural bar for this whole dive-bar adventure, but like the way many of our outings turn out, it was closed on the one night we tried to visit. That initial screw-up set the group's quality expectations from then on, and we've met or exceeded even the lowest standards that our members demand. There's gotta be some succinct Latin expression for this cheerfully-accepted crappiness.