It's been a while since our last drink. Rather than crowd into a stuffy bar (and come to think of it, what's wrong with that?), we'll drown our sorrows where others simply drown, namely the edge of the Pacific Ocean. This will be, of course, a BYOB event, and the 'B'-ing is best done with the aid of a proper minibar. If you don't own one of these cocktail-toting miracles then you're still invited to show up, but keep in mind that alcoholic consumption on a public beach is technically illegal, so a crisp new paper bag to wrap around your 40' might be in order as an alternative.

The theme of this gathering is rather simple; we're going to burn things. If you want to imbue this event with deep meaning or symbolism that's your problem, but we're doing it for strictly pragmatic reasons. Our shopping bags full of old bank statements, credit card offers, ATM receipts, and other identity-revealing papers have clogged up the hallway, and now it's time to destroy all the evidence. Since decent paper shredders are still hellishly overpriced, a bonfire will serve nicely as a suitable reducer of sensitive data that need not fly around the public landfills. If you likewise save your financial/personal paper waste and are looking for an opportunity to give it that Arthur Anderson touch, all while comfortably sipping a Whiskey Sour, here's
your chance. It's molotov cocktail hour.

Other Suggested Objects de Immolation:

- junk mail
- hate mail
- love letters from people you now hate
- photos of yourself from the 70's
- business cards from bankrupt dot-com you used to work for
- stub from your final unemployment check
- Christmas trees that really should have been taken down in February
- firewood
- violins
- copper screen (this makes really colorful flames)
- big cardboard tubes
- dresser drawers
- old dollar bills
- wooden nickels
- roommate's almost-completed PhD thesis
- Bacardi 151
- old porn that just doesn't do it for you anymore
- bibles
- effigies of Hairy Larvae
- flammable liquids to accelerate the flames

To find us among the thousands of other Tuesday Night beach burns, look for a staff with a martini flag on the top:

http://www.parody.org/dive-bar/images/flag.jpg

N.B. Dancing trance/hippy/drum-circle/kumbaya types will be escorted up to stairwell #21 and fed the brown acid.

Summary of items to bring: minibars and other booze sources, things to burn, trash bags for things that don't burn, warm clothes, things to sit on, canapes.

Tuesday, March 29
7:30 until 9:30 pm (beach parking lot closes at 10)
Ocean Beach
Walk west from Sloat Blvd (Home of the last remaining public Doggie
Diner Head)

Muni lines: 18, 23, 29, 48, L Metro

Map:
http://local.google.com/maps?q=sloat%20blvd%20at%20great%20hwy%20san%20francisco