Phone Calls

I recently moved into a new house. The new house came with a new phone number. The new phone number used to be several someone else's phone number.

<ring>
me: Hello?
woman caller: Is Chris there?
me: Sorry, wrong number.

I hang up. Phone rings again 15 seconds later. .

me: It's still a wrong number.
woman caller: I'm calling for Chris.
me: There's no Chris here.
woman caller: Are you sure?

I wondered. Was I sure? Yes, last time I checked, my name is Stacey, not Chris and I'm the only one at this number.

me: Yes, I'm sure.
woman caller: Well, I've reached him at this number before.

I thought but did not say: maybe he moved and didn't bother to tell you.

me: Well, he's not here now. There's no Chris here. You have a wrong number.
woman caller: How long has he been gone?

Umm..Chris was never AT this number. How could I know how long he hasn't been here?

me: This is my telephone number. I'm the only person at this number. There's no Chris here!
woman caller: (sounding agitated) I'm trying to find Chris.

Obviously, I wasn't getting through. I hung up.

Several other people, or the same one with disguised voice, called for Chris over the next week. When I told these people that there wasn't any Chris here, they said ok & hung up. Then at 6am, the phone rang again. It was the same woman as the first time.

me: hello? <sleepily>
woman caller: Is Chris there?
me: No. there's no Chris here. You have a wrong number.

I think she picked the time of day that Chris would be most likely to be here. When someone (me) half asleep answered the phone, she probably figured that I couldn't be lying when I was barely awake enough to answer the phone. She may be right. Next time she calls, I'm going to start taking messages for Chris.

Then came the Justin Welch calls. They started about six months after I'd moved in. I think Justin Welch started giving out my number as his number. I started getting messages on my answering machine asking for Justin. I ignored them. One woman was especially persistant. I came home to messages from her every night for about a week. She was calling from a car phone with an LA-area prefix. I didn't call her back.

Then came the Angry Man.

me: hello?
AM: Is Justin there?
me: No, there's no Justin here. You have a wrong number.

The Angry Man began arguing for Justin Welch. He needed to talk with Justin Welch. I hung up.

10 seconds goes by and the phone rings again.

me: It's still a wrong number.
AM: <with raised voice> I need to talk with Justin Welch!
me: There's no Justin Welch here.
AM: Is this the Welch residence?
me: No. You have a wrong number.
AM: <shouting> DO YOU KNOW A JUSTIN WELCH?

I hung up.

Then tonight, I came home to music on my answering machine, some old 70s pop song followed by the sound of a telephone ringing.

<beep>

April 20, 1998